Many Kenyan – or African as such – startups have brilliant ideas and viable solutions for their specific environment. Venture Capital is mostly organized in US and Europe. But Africa is not very widely recognized as an investment opportunity … until: another white nose comes into the picture. The minute an “African” startup is founded or at least co-founded by a Mzungu money pours in.
Sometimes Often Normally even without proper due diligence.
Get Kenyan and African startups funded. If the main restriction to the access of money is a Mzungu within a viable project: here’s your white nose for hire:
Our “Hire a Mzungu” packages
Put my picture as a reference on your website, FaceBook or LinkedIn page
Maximum level of involvement is CMO, CTO, CFO or COO
25.000 KES annual fee
Add a short CV or quote from me (max. 200 words) together with my picture on your website, FaceBook or LinkedIn page
Maximum level of involvement is CEO
50.000 KES annual fee
Add a CV, quote and real contact details together with my picture on your website, FaceBook or LinkedIn page
Maximum level of involvement is Co-Founder
starting at 100.000 KES annual fee, depending on the size and viability of the project. And according to my days mood.
Addition to all packages:
|Creating your individual one-pager website||starting at 100.000 KES|
|Creating your individual website or online shop||kindly ask for quotation|
|Online marketing on Twitter, FaceBook, LinkedIn, Instagram, …||kindly ask for quotation|
Rest Of World
German by passport, Kenyan by heart. It bothers me to see real good and useful projects founded by Kenyans get stuck, delayed or even might fail at all because of lack of money. Actually: I’m indeed involved in one myself. Checkout inua.academy as an e-learning platform for continuous learning.
On the other side venture capital and often enough also public money is thrown on projects where you can tell that they are not viable from afar. BTW: not only in Kenya. It seems to be part of the startup game as such. On the other hand I see a clear lack of Kenyan based venture capital. Kenyans will rather invest in the next shamba or the next bigger Prado than in aspiring young founders with good business ideas. Maybe this rant will give some awareness to this and we might see a change in the long run. At least I wish.
The fine print
- Be very aware of the BS level of your project. Otherwise I will make you aware that it is b*llshit. You might consider me rude.
- No real involvement in your project, especially no investment from my side. Until I change my mind. I repeat: I change my mind, not you!
- No guarantee for collecting money. I don’t know anyone with money. If so, why would I advertise myself like this? I have ideas myself to cover another lifetime.
- This whole thing is primarily for fun and to mock fellow mzungus who come to Africa. Even without knowledge of the local environment, they “discover” needs, lacks, gaps and opportunities (like their ancestors did with mountains, rivers and lakes) that mostly have already been addressed. Bonus points for overcomplicating things by adding technology they don’t understand themselves or don’t fit to the needs of the project.
- A word to potential investors: consider your money gone. But that’s what you have to do anyway when investing in a startup. At least not only your fellow white noses will participate this time. Ease your mind by calling it a good deed. That will serve both your book-keeping requirements as well as the western narrative. Or the other way round: no need to feel conned by a black guy. You have achieved the next level.